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Your Attention, Please!

Ladies, Gentlemen, and Jarveys, after a hiatus of three years, the pictureofaman community is once again active. Please, go forth and read eoforyth's contribution! Leave a review! Take inspiration from our updated list of claimed body parts, and message dracfic for admission to the community if you, too, would like to celebrate a piece of an hp-verse male!

Final Flight

The view from the kids' playground circa 12:30 this afternoon:


Imagine a playground full of children shrieking, "Shuttle! SHUTTLE!" (I now have some idea what it was like to be deafened by Beatles fans...)


So Harry, Draco, Lily, and Scorpius are at the grocery store.
(Yeah, you know this is going to be good.)

Harry, who never met a sample he didn't like (or at least eat with immense gusto) spies the Sample Lady pedaling Jalapeno bread with various fillings.

Scorpius, who never turns down free (or apparently free) food charges up beside Daddy!Harry, overtakes him, and grabs a cup full of jalapeno-laden bread.

Mommy!Draco: Wait! That has hot peppers in it!

Scorpius (studies the cup quizzically): It does?

Harry (already chomping): Go ahead and try it.

Scorpius (sniffs the bread): ...

Mommy!Draco: Jalapeno peppers can be hot.

Lily: You might cry.

Daddy!Harry: It's good.

Scorpius thinks some more... hesitantly starts to put the cup back... looks at Daddy!Harry... and suddenly reverses course and takes a bite.

Mommy!Draco: If that child cries, I am KICKING YOUR ARSE in front of God and everyone.

Lily (gets in front of Scorpius and chants, sotto voce): Cry! Cry! Cry! Cry!


Don't let the hair colors fool you. Only one of these children is a true Malfoy... and it ain't the blond.

(Scorpius went back for seconds on the bread. There was no public arse-kicking, to Lily's mild disappointment. Also beginning to suspect that Scorpius is a Gryffinpuff.

Thank You

Thank you kindly to all who sent v gifts. I don't know what the occasion was, but it was very nice to be thought of. :)


Exchange of the day

Harry is watching Kung Fu Panda 2 with Lily & Scorpius. I (unfortunately) can hear everything in the next room. Goose character just finishes telling the panda he is adopted and that he once ate all the bamboo furniture in the house.

Harry (to Lily & Scorpius): That's what happens when you adopt.

Me: What's the excuse when you have kids of your own?

Harry (thinks a moment): Well, at least they don't eat the bamboo furniture.

Me: ...

Don't let the hair fool you...

(Ad for Dr. Phil airs while Lily & I have the TV news on for background noise; topic is horrible parents)

Mommy!Draco: Next time you decide I'm a terrible parent, remember the folks who glued their kid to the wall, or the mom who sold her baby for $15,000.

Lily: Yeah. *Pause*

(Mommy!Draco senses what's coming & makes a bet with herself)

Lily: You would never sell me for $15,000. I'm worth FAR more than that.

(Mommy!Draco wins bet with self.)

Mommy!Draco: Give me a hug.

Lily (laughs): Ok, but what's that for?

Mommy!Draco: Because you are my most-Malfoy child. *hugs* You do know I wouldn't sell you for anything.

Lily *grin*: I know.

Don't let the hair color fool you. The Malfoy is strongest in that one.


The World According to Scorpius

The World According to Scorpius

Scorpius, on immigration: “Those Canadian geese that live in the pond on the golf course have been here so long, they’re American geese.”

Scorpius, on mechanization: (Flushing sound; Indignant little voice issues from the bathroom stall with the automatic flushing toilet) “Hey, STOP THAT, toilet! I wasn’t FINISHED yet!”

Scorpius, on race: (Looking at a TV clip where Steve Harvey and Dr. Phil are sitting side by side) “They’re about the same guy, except one of them faded.”

Scorpius, on aging, visible effects thereof: “Do you think that Great-Grandmother’s skin looks any different after a bath?”

Scorpius, on reproduction: “How does a baby get made? I might want to know in case I ever want one.”

Scorpius, on colloquialisms: “I guess she’ll just continue like that until she kicks the bucket. Or dies.”


The Spirit of the Earth

The Earth Spirit caused a bit of a stir (and not a few requests for photographs) at the park Pumpkin Patch...

Favorite reaction to this costume: the woman who jumped about a foot and exclaimed, "Holy Mac and Cheese!"

Closest to guessing what it was: the little boy who whispered, "I think it might be a scary God."

Most common reaction: "What IS that?/OMG, that's scary!"

Silliest reaction: "Is it real???!" (Oy, teenagers...)

Best Interaction: The woman who, upon discovering that the Earth Spirit only communicated in gestures, asked if he would like a piece of candy--in sign language. :)


Reports of my demise (etc.)

So, there was a little something I failed to take into consideration when I made the bet, and again when I told the mods, my friends, and my oddsprings I would have to withdraw from the fest and the fandom:

Scorpius crying is very, very, distressing.

There was also the fact that, after over two years of complete and utter blockage... well, Harry took a word count and calculated that I had managed to write nearly 10,000 words in one week.

I wrote a thousand words yesterday alone.

The fest mods were very, very, nice and offered me an extension.

I am now officially the Bret Favre of fandom.

(today's word count: 2,000 and counting)

(anyone know a beta?)